My Old Friends and Family Hate Me Now

Understanding the cost of following Christ

Matthew 10:34, John 15:18-19

The Transformation

After becoming a Christian, you're probably feeling more alive than you have ever felt. However, you're also probably saying no to the things that you used to enjoy with non-Christian people. You could be going out less and you're not using bad words anymore.

People will start to feel strange around you as you reject the things of this world, which you no longer find enjoyable. You're living this new life with Jesus and people don't understand.

Even your own family members may feel alienated from you—and you from them. Why is this happening?

Jesus Didn't Come to Bring Peace

Jesus said He didn't come to bring peace but a sword. Matthew 10:34 (CSB) says:

“Don't assume that I came to bring peace on the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.”
— Matthew 10:34 (CSB)

He said that even members of your own house will be your enemies. This is because you are no longer of the world. You are living in the world but you have been set apart from this world by God. You have been called and chosen to serve Christ.

Set Apart for God

The Spirit of God is now in you to make you like and do the things of God. So you no longer find the things of this world enjoyable.

This is what Jesus meant when He said that you cannot be His disciple unless you hate your own old life. Luke 14:26 (CSB):

“If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, and even his own life—he cannot be my disciple.”
— Luke 14:26 (CSB)

The World's Hatred

You will find that the world hates you—and that you hate the world in the sense that you are no longer compatible with the world.

This is not a bad thing. It is a sign that you belong to Christ. As Jesus said in John 15:18-19 (CSB):

“If the world hates you, understand that it hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own. However, because you are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of it, the world hates you.”
— John 15:18-19 (CSB)

Conclusion

The hatred you experience is actually a confirmation that you are following Christ faithfully. The world rejected Jesus, and it will reject you too. But take heart—Jesus has overcome the world (John 16:33).

Stay faithful. The reward is eternal.

Eternal Perspective

Christians focus on things eternal, whilst the people in this world are still focused on things of this earth.

“So we do not focus on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”
— 2 Corinthians 4:18 (CSB)

Scripture Foundation

Matthew 10:34-36 (CSB)

“Don't assume that I came to bring peace on the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I came to turn a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and a man's enemies will be the members of his household.”

John 15:18-19 (CSB)

“If the world hates you, understand that it hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own. However, because you are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of it, the world hates you.”

John 16:33 (CSB)

“I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. You will have suffering in this world. Be courageous! I have conquered the world.”

1 John 3:13 (CSB)

“Do not be surprised, brothers and sisters, if the world hates you.”

Guideposts

Where Do Evil Spirits Come From?

Understanding the source of spiritual opposition

I Am Feeling Sad About Things I Did

Finding peace after sin through Christ

Is It Possible To Overcome Sexual Temptation?

Biblical wisdom for the battle for purity

Do We Celebrate Christmas and Easter?

Biblical perspective on Christian holidays

Enjoy Life

Building wealth, enjoying God's gifts, and doing His work

Tithing

Biblical perspective on giving and generosity

God, Son, Spirit, Bride, New Godhead

Understanding the divine relationship and eternal union

What is Christianity?

A foundational exploration of the Christian faith